Identifying and Coping With Hypersexuality Triggers

You turn to sexual behaviors to deal with negative emotions. Sex, pornography viewing, or masturbation help you feel better, at least temporarily. But the positive feelings don’t stick around, and soon you find yourself using hypersexuality as a coping mechanism pretty much nonstop. 

If you can’t control your sexual thoughts and behaviors, it may be time to seek sex addiction treatment. In treatment, you’ll uncover the root cause of your behavior and how to heal from it. You’ll also learn how to identify and avoid hypersexuality triggers to help you stop using sex for coping.

Understanding Hypersexuality Disorder

Hypersexuality disorder, more commonly referred to as “sex addiction,” is a preoccupation with sex. It can look like sexual fantasies, excessive porn watching, or even compulsive sexual urges. These behaviors negatively impact your relationships, health, job, and other areas of life at a great cost to you.

Someone with hypersexuality disorder may feel compelled to engage in masturbation, cybersex, sex with multiple partners, pornography consumption, risky sexual behaviors, and even paying for sex. These behaviors become difficult to manage and disrupt the person’s life.

Signs of hypersexuality disorder include:

• Repeatedly engaging in sexual behavior with no regard to the harm to yourself or others
• Excessive time spent consumed by, planning for, or engaged in sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors
• Repeatedly engaging in sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors in response to your moods or life events
• Unsuccessfully attempting to control or reduce these behaviors

What Causes People to Use Hypersexuality as a Coping Mechanism?

Unresolved trauma is the most common cause of hypersexuality disorder. Unresolved trauma means you experienced a traumatic happening in your life and never emotionally processed what happened to you. As a result, your mind and body got stuck in fight or flight mode, and you sought out a way to comfort yourself. Sexual activity became that comfort, and an addiction formed because of this connection between sex, trauma, and the brain. 

To recover from sex addiction, you must first identify the cause of the emotional trauma. Then, you must begin to heal from that trauma. As you recover, you’ll also learn new ways to cope with negative emotions and other triggers that make you want to engage in negative behaviors.

Identifying Hypersexuality Triggers

For people with a history of trauma, a trigger reminds them of that happening. This trigger can make them feel like they’re experiencing the traumatic event all over again. 

Scientists are uncertain how triggers form. Some think the human brain stores traumatic memories differently than non-traumatic ones. Others think the brain may interpret memories of past traumatic events as happening in the moment.

Regardless, triggers can cause a person to feel the same way they felt during the original trauma. Triggers can cause an emotional reaction before a person realizes they’re upset. And, often, triggers have a strong sensory connection or a connection to an ingrained habit. 

Triggers can be internal or external. An internal trigger comes from within the person who experiences it. It’s a memory, physical sensation, or emotion. Anger, sadness, loneliness, boredom, or a particular fantasy can all be internal triggers. When it comes to hypersexuality disorder, the desire to escape a feeling is an internal trigger.

External triggers, on the other hand, come from the environment. They can be a person, place, or situation. A movie that reminds someone of a specific experience like a breakup, a particular time of day, other people, the internet, substance use, certain sounds, or smells can all be external triggers. These external triggers can create emotional discomfort or remind someone with hypersexuality disorder of past sexual pleasure.

A mental health professional can help you identify your triggers. Keeping a journal or log of when you feel triggered and what was happening in your life at that time also can be helpful. 

When you think you’re experiencing a trigger, ask yourself these questions:

• What was I doing before I felt the urge?
• What emotions was I experiencing?
• Who was I with, and what were we talking about?
• What thoughts were going through my mind?
• Did I encounter any specific sensory experiences?

Ways to Cope With Hypersexuality Triggers

When you use hypersexuality as a coping mechanism, triggers can be seemingly everywhere. After all, triggers are inside you. So, any adverse feeling can be a trigger. But just because you’re triggered doesn’t mean you have to respond. You can learn to cope with those experiences, feelings, or temptations in other ways.

Avoidance

While you probably can’t avoid all triggers, you likely can avoid some. If a specific location or social activity is a hypersexuality trigger, avoid them. For example, if getting drinks at a bar is an external trigger, avoid that activity. You also can install porn blockers on your phone to help avoid the pull of viewing pornography.

Stick to Your Plan

Coping with hypersexuality triggers will be challenging. That’s why it’s essential to attend treatment and work with a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) to make a plan for dealing with triggers. Sticking to the plan may be difficult at first, but the longer you do it, the easier it will be.

Healthy Outlets

Sexual fantasies or behaviors may be how you usually cope with stress or uncomfortable emotions. Instead, find a healthy way to cope with those triggers. Picking up a new hobby or finding some recreational activities you enjoy can be good outlets. You also may want to try stress management techniques like journaling or talking to a trusted loved one when things get difficult.

Support Groups

There are many support groups available to help you on your healing journey. Your therapist can likely recommend groups in your area or online. Sometimes it also helps to have an accountability partner or a trusted other you can contact when you’re feeling triggered or having a difficult day.

Exercise and Meditation

Exercise and meditation offer mental health benefits, like improved confidence and a natural mood boost. Both can be positive distractions from hypersexuality triggers. They also can improve the symptoms of many mental health disorders

Focus on Your Goal

Keep your goals in mind. Recovery will be difficult, and it will take time. Think about why you started the healing journey in the first place. Let that drive you.

Seek Treatment at Begin Again Institute

Begin Again Institute specializes in helping men heal their addictive behaviors and rebuild their relationships. We offer a safe space to work toward healing sex addiction and to stop using hypersexuality as a coping mechanism.

Our 14-Day Men’s Intensive uses various therapies to help you heal. We also offer an aftercare program consisting of weekly support sessions to help you continue your progress.

You don’t have to undergo your healing journey alone. Contact Begin Again Institute if you need help coping with your hypersexuality triggers or if you’d like more information about our programs.

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