The Bible teaches that God envisions handling conflicts with patience, forgiveness, and humility, especially for marriage problems. Conflict is inevitable in all relationships, especially marriages, but with communication, faith, guidance, and support, a marriage can withstand conflict and become stronger.
So, what does the Bible say about marriage problems? Scripture actually has a lot to say about this issue. In 1 Peter 4:8, he says, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly since love covers a multitude of sins” (ESV).
God witnesses the marriage union, and the vow of marriage needs to be honored. Matthew 19:6 reads, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate” (NIV).
With the tenets of Christian teachings in mind, many marriage problems can be resolved through communication, understanding, patience, grace, and forgiveness. However, in some situations, communication and faith may not be enough. For example, if a partner is experiencing a sex addiction. When that happens, seeking professional help to find individual and marital healing may be necessary.
Biblical Principles for a Successful Marriage
The vow of marriage is a lifelong commitment, according to the Bible, and should not be taken lightly. God is the witness of marriage, and the marital commitment is to your spouse and God through your loyalty and faith in them both.
Along with commitment, faith, love, and respect between husband and wife, communication is a top skill needed to work through marriage problems. Giving your spouse the space to share their feelings, thoughts, emotions, and so much more, and vice versa, creates mutual love and respect.
Spouses who understand one another through open lines of communication look forward to living their Christian faith through their marriage for all to see.
Couples with strong communication also tend to spend time together as a couple and view this time as a reward and a gift.
Marriage Problems Addressed in the Bible
The Bible addresses myriad marital problems, seeming to understand that conflict will arise between two people, even in a committed relationship, and they’ll need guidance.
Marriage problems addressed in the Bible include:
- Infidelity. The Bible is clear when it comes to infidelity, addressing it in the commandment, “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14, NIV).
- Commitment. The Bible emphasizes the sanctity and permanence of marriage. For example, in Matthew 19:6, Jesus says, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (NIV).
- Communication. While not explicitly addressed, the Bible encourages loving, kind, and honest communication, which is fundamental in resolving conflicts. Ephesians 4:25-26 advises, “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. ‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (NIV).
- Unequal Partnership. The concept of partnership in marriage is discussed, with Ephesians 5:25-33 highlighting mutual respect and love. The text advises husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands. It seems to say that both partners should contribute equally to the relationship.
- Sexual Problems. The Bible addresses marital intimacy explicitly in books like Song of Solomon and advises spouses not to deprive each other except by mutual consent for a time (1 Corinthians 7:5).
The Bible reminds people to forgive, but some marital problems may push the limits of what you feel like you can understand. Infidelity, adultery, familial issues, financial or criminal challenges, and addictions can be difficult to understand or forgive without guidance. Still, the Bible teaches that you can overcome these issues.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, NKJV)
Strong relationships take work, strength of character, honesty, and trust. They also require a willingness for both partners to work toward healing themselves and, if possible, their relationship when serious issues arise.
The Problem of Pornography or Sex Addiction
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” (Hebrews 13:4, ESV)
As with any addiction, sex addiction or porn addiction interferes with your daily life and your ability to have strong relationships.
These addictions can also cause other negative behaviors, health changes, and financial or even legal consequences.
Symptoms of sex addiction include:
- Increasing amounts of time spent on viewing porn or sex
- Feeling guilty or shameful about watching porn or engaging in other sexual activities
- All-consuming thoughts about porn or sex
- Being unable to stop these behaviors, regardless of negative consequences
- Hiding behaviors from those around you
- Negative consequences for missing work deadlines, appointments, or neglecting other responsibilities
Seeking sex addiction treatment or pornography addiction treatment can be challenging. Guilt and shame might make you reluctant to seek help. But you’re unlikely to heal from an addiction on your own. Instead, it probably will get worse. You need treatment that can help you uncover the root cause of the addiction, heal yourself, and change your behaviors.
Sex addiction can shake a Christian’s faith, and it’s extremely hurtful to their partners. That’s why it’s vital to understand that sex addiction often is linked to unresolved trauma. Understanding where the addiction originated and why your mind and body responded as it did is a huge step toward healing.
Matt Wenger, Clinical Director at Begin Again Institute, said people should seek treatment that is trauma focused.
“Effective addiction treatment encounters the brain, body, and emotions,” he said. “Education and understanding are important, but mere education is not enough.”
Recovery from Pornography or Sex Addiction
Christian men are not immune to sex or pornography addictions. Begin Again Institute’s Boulder Recovery program understands the temptations faced by Christian men and their difficulty in dealing with negative behaviors.
Using a trauma-focused perspective to determine the root cause of the addiction and the link to negative behaviors, Boulder Recovery’s 14-Day Christian Intensive includes your Christian faith as part of the treatment and recovery.
Marriage is a vow between partners, and both spouses require healing. Boulder Recovery also offers a free, virtual Partner Support Program, which allows your spouse to find healing through support.
Contact us today to see how our faith-based treatment program for Christian men can help your relationship by healing the addiction while rebuilding your faith and marriage.
For more than 20 years, Doug Harsch worked as both a pastor and lay counselor in the city of Chicago. Feeling called in a new direction, he completed his Masters in Mental Health Counseling from Trinity International University.
