Childhood experiences play a significant role in shaping your future self, but not all early experiences are positive. Distressing and traumatic experiences during childhood can deeply affect emotional and psychological development, especially in how you form and maintain relationships later in life.
Some people experience childhood trauma without consciously remembering it. Your brain may have pushed traumatic memories deep into your unconscious as a way of protecting itself. It’s not something you decide to do. It’s a natural coping mechanism, so you can move on with your life.
However, blocking memories of the trauma doesn’t stop the long-term effects it can have on your life. You may still be experiencing intimacy disorders, including sex addiction, and other mental health concerns because of early-life trauma, even if you don’t remember it.
The connection between childhood trauma and memory is essential to understand if you’re attempting to recover and process traumatic memories to heal from an intimacy disorder or sex addiction.
The Impact of Childhood Trauma
Childhood trauma is when a child experiences a distressing or threatening event early in life, such as abuse, neglect, or household instability. These potentially traumatic events are also known as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).
The 10 ACEs are:
- Physical abuse
- Sexual abuse
- Emotional abuse
- Physical neglect
- Emotional neglect
- Living with a relative with a mental health disorder
- Having an incarcerated parent
- Domestic abuse in the home
- Substance use in the home
- Divorce
The more ACEs a child experiences, the more prone they are to emotional trauma, which can last into adulthood.
Trauma affects everyone differently. What one child may find traumatic, another may not.
Childhood trauma can be resolved early in some people. But for others, its effects can endure well into adulthood. And these lingering effects can have a significant impact on your mental and physical health, relationships, and life decisions.
Symptoms of emotional trauma in adults can include:
- Ongoing fear or feeling that the world is unsafe
- Depression and anxiety
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Emotional dysregulation and intense mood swings
- Strong reactions to certain places, people, or situations
- Poor self-esteem
- Trust issues and fear of abandonment
- Impulse control issues
- Attachment and relationship problems
Traumatic experiences during childhood can disrupt healthy emotional development, leading to difficulties in forming intimate connections and regulating emotions. This disruption can manifest as intimacy disorders such as sex, masturbation, or porn addiction. Compulsive sexual behaviors may be an attempt to cope with negative emotions stemming from unresolved childhood trauma.
Matt Wenger, Clinical Director at Begin Again Institute, said that intimacy disorders are almost always rooted in trauma, specifically trauma that happens before the age of 20.
“The pain of these traumas can lead to negative coping, which can confirm the negative beliefs of themselves they already had,” he said.
Memory Loss and Childhood Trauma
But what if you have the symptoms of emotional trauma but no memory of any adverse childhood experiences? Is it possible to have childhood trauma that you don’t remember?
Yes, it is. Memory loss or suppression can be a side effect of childhood trauma.
Suppressing unpleasant memories may be a type of coping mechanism. It’s your brain’s way of protecting itself from the mental and emotional distress these harmful memories cause. Depending on the trauma, you may have even developed dissociative amnesia.
Dissociative amnesia is a condition in which your mind blocks out important information about your life. This amnesia happens as a result of dissociation, in which you mentally disconnect from your thoughts, feelings, and memories.
You may dissociate for a short time during the traumatic experience itself. But for some, long-term dissociation becomes a way of separating yourself from your past and coping with these stressful experiences.
Dissociative amnesia is not the same as simply forgetting something. The memories are usually still there in your unconscious mind, but you can’t access them.
Research has also shown strong links between childhood trauma and memory formation. Experiencing abuse can affect the way your brain creates and stores memories to begin with. It can lead to fragmented or distorted memories.
Your brain may even attempt to fill in the gaps by creating false memories. These false memories can greatly alter your perception of the event, which may prevent you from fully processing and healing from it.
Why Recovering Traumatic Memories is Essential
You may now be wondering, “If my brain has repressed these traumatic memories for a reason, why would I want to recover them?”
Remembering and accepting your past trauma is an essential step in healing from it. You can’t heal from what you don’t know or acknowledge exists. Avoiding your past can prevent you from being fully present and happy in the present.
Unprocessed childhood trauma can affect every aspect of your adult life, including your emotional, physical, and psychological well-being. It may even be causing your intimacy disorder, such as sex or pornography addictions, even if you don’t remember it.
Recovering traumatic memories can help you identify the root cause of your adverse behaviors and recognize the underlying triggers fueling them. Healing the root cause enables you to reclaim agency over your life and forge healthier relationships moving forward.
But recovering these memories isn’t as easy as simply deciding to remember them one day. Uncovering unconscious memories can take a lot of time and hard work. You then need to accept and process them in order to heal.
If you suspect that you may have repressed childhood trauma, it’s important to work with a mental health professional. Trauma-informed therapy allows you to recall and process traumatic memories in a safe and supportive environment.
How BAI Helps You Heal
At Begin Again Institute, we treat intimacy disorders and sexual addictions from a trauma-informed perspective.
We use the Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction (TINSA®) model. TINSA posits sex addiction as something driven by childhood trauma and the neurobiological effects it has on the brain. Therefore, to overcome and heal from these addictions, it’s essential to first uncover the underlying trauma that is fueling it.
BAI uses various trauma-informed therapies to help you recall your traumatic memories and accept your past. We then give you the tools necessary to continue your healing journey and move forward in your life.
The exact techniques used during sex addiction treatment depend on your unique needs. Our clinical team will create an individualized treatment plan to address your specific concerns and support your goals.
Healing and Recovery at Begin Again Institute
Begin Again Institute recognizes the profound impact that childhood trauma can have on your life, whether you remember it or not.
Early trauma can disrupt healthy emotional development, leading to difficulties in forming and maintaining intimate relationships. Intimacy disorders, such as sex addiction, often stem from unresolved trauma. They serve as coping mechanisms to numb emotional pain or seek validation in unhealthy ways.
Our team of Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs) and innovative trauma-informed treatment models help men identify and heal the traumas that led to intimacy issues. We provide a safe and supportive space for you to explore past traumas and work through emotional wounds.
If you’re experiencing an intimacy disorder or sex addiction, you can choose from our:
If you’re ready to uncover your childhood memories and move forward with your life, contact Begin Again Institute today.
With over 15 years of experience in the recovery and personal growth field, Jon is a dedicated therapist who specializes in working with men suffering from depression, anxiety, trauma, and addiction. Through a combination of Brainspotting, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and experiential therapies, Jon helps individuals address the root causes of emotional challenges, leading to deeper healing and personal growth.
In addition to holding a Master’s degree in Psychology from Naropa University in 2010, Jon also earned a Master in Business Administration from the University of Southern California in 1996. Outside of work, Jon enjoys spending time with his 10-year-old son and staying active through hiking, swimming, yoga, biking, pickleball, and tennis.
