Sex addiction recovery likely feels daunting. Deciding when to ask for help is the first step, but it’s also the most challenging. Then, once you start in recovery, you’re met with more challenges. Knowing what to expect can make these hurdles easier to overcome. Here are some common challenges in addiction recovery and how to cope with them.
Understanding Sex Addiction
Sex addiction, also known as compulsive sexual behavior or hypersexuality disorder, is an excessive preoccupation with sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors that you can’t control. It causes severe emotional distress and comes at a great cost to your mental and physical health, job, and relationships.
The overwhelming sign of this type of addiction is that compulsive sexual behavior negatively impacts your life, but you can’t stop it. Other signs and symptoms of sex addiction include:
- Sex with strangers or sex workers
- Compulsive masturbation or porn use that escalates over time
- Failure to keep promises to change sexual behavior, despite wanting to
- Sexual behavior negatively impacts other aspects of life
- Feeling depressed or shameful about behaviors and the inability to control urges
- Avoiding activities that don’t include sexual outlets, including daily responsibilities and social events
- Engaging in risky sexual behaviors
- Low self-esteem
- Defensiveness
- An inability to maintain meaningful relationships or an aversion to intimacy
- Ignoring the consequences of behaviors
Sex addiction is an intimacy disorder. If you have an intimacy disorder, you fear connection with other people and attempt to avoid it to protect yourself.
Common Challenges in Sex Addiction Recovery
Sex addiction recovery involves many stages and is often ongoing. People face common challenges in addiction recovery.
Ed Tilton, President of Begin Again Institute, said, “Empathy for oneself is often difficult in sex addiction recovery.” He identified the following common challenges:
- Distress related to past behaviors
- Over-committing and burning out instead of approaching recovery in a sustainable way
- Identifying and healing from the root cause of the addiction, which is likely unresolved trauma
- Romantic patterns that may be a source of behaviors
- Poor boundaries with technology
- Relationships with affair partners that haven’t ended
- Lack of boundaries with family members
- Identifying and managing triggers
- Adjusting to a new lifestyle and understanding that it takes long-term commitment to change
Be patient in addressing these challenges in addiction recovery. Addiction forms over time and will take time to heal. Celebrate each time you make a choice that prioritizes yourself and your relationships, and be patient during your recovery journey.
Tips to Help Overcome Common Challenges
Challenges can be opportunities for growth. When you face one of the common challenges in sex addiction recovery, realize that you always have choices.
Overcome common challenges in sex addiction recovery by:
- Recognizing and Planning for Triggers. Identify personal triggers (stress, boredom, loneliness, etc.) and develop alternative coping mechanisms like exercise, meditation, or creative activities. Use mindfulness techniques to acknowledge urges without acting on them.
- Address Underlying Issues. Working with a mental health professional can help you identify and heal from the root cause of the addiction, which is necessary for long-term healing.
- Rebuilding Relationships. Be transparent and take responsibility for past actions. Allow time for rebuilding trust, and seek professional support when necessary.
- Being Honest. Honesty is vital in recovery. You must be honest with yourself about emotions that arise and have candid conversations with loved ones.
- Seeking Support. You can’t heal from sex addiction alone. Sex addiction thrives in isolation. People in recovery will need social support to combat addiction and help keep them accountable.
- Setting Boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries with technology and in relationships. Consider using porn blockers on your phone and having candid conversations with loved ones about what you can or can’t cope with at any time.
Seeking help from an experienced and knowledgeable mental health professional (or team of professionals) is essential to overcoming sex addiction. A trauma-informed clinician will help you do more than treat the exhibiting symptoms or behaviors. They can help you identify and treat the underlying cause of the addiction and experience true healing and freedom from it.
Let Begin Again Institute Help
Overcoming sex addiction may feel like an impossible task when you set out on your healing journey, but it’s possible to experience long-term recovery.
At Begin Again Institute, we offer various programs, including a 14-Day Men’s Intensive and a 14-Day Christian Men’s Intensive, to provide you with the support you need to overcome intimacy disorders, including sex addiction.
Contact us today to get started.
Having been raised outside the US, Sako knows what it’s like to look at things from a different lens. His Armenian culture has fostered a love of close relationships where the messiness of human beings and all of their “stuff” is considered to be a part of the joy and experience of life. Sako identifies connection, compassion, humor, and growth to be his core values, which he brings into all parts of his life, especially his professional work.
