Do you want to do something really badly, even though you may not understand why, or do you have to do it to fulfill a need, even though you may not want to?
That’s the difference between a compulsive behavior and an addiction.
A compulsive behavior might be having a strong urge to watch pornography. An addiction is when you have to watch pornography to get the positive feelings it provides. If you don’t, you begin feeling mental and physical withdrawal symptoms.
People may use the terms compulsive behavior and addiction interchangeably, but they describe two distinct mental health challenges. Though they share many of the same traits, these issues’ underlying causes, experiences, and treatments can differ dramatically.
As these challenges are often complex and deeply personal, fully understanding or diagnosing a problematic behavior often requires expert guidance and support.
Begin Again Institute specializes in helping people with intimacy disorders and sex addictions. If you’re feeling uncertain or concerned about a compulsion or addiction to sexual behavior, either for yourself or someone you care about, taking the time to learn more about these issues is a great next step.
What Are Compulsive Behaviors?
Compulsive behaviors are deeply influenced by obsessions — persistent, unwanted thoughts that cause anxiety or distress. Someone grappling with these obsessions feels a compelling need to perform specific actions, often repeatedly, to calm those thoughts causing their discomfort. According to the National Institute of Health, compulsion is an “uncontrollable urge to say or do something without an obvious reason.”
With sexual behavior, a compulsion might result in repetitive engagement in sexual activities, masturbation, or viewing pornography. These actions are driven by an underlying anxiety or trauma rather than by a conscious choice. The desire to engage in these behaviors can be so strong that it overrides rational thought and self-control. The negative feelings that accompany “giving in” to these desires can create a relentless loop of behavior that’s challenging to break.
Signs of compulsive sexual behavior include:
- The inability to control or stop compulsions
- Emotional distress, such as depression and anxiety, resulting from the behavior
- Relationship issues
- Poor work performance, when attention is directed toward compulsions instead of work
Understanding Addiction
Addiction involves intense, uncontrollable cravings for certain behaviors or substances for the pleasure they provide, even when they lead to negative consequences. The American Society of Addiction Medicine describes this complex condition as a chronic disease.
With sexual addictions, people may turn to masturbation, pornography, or sexual acts to achieve a sense of pleasure, chasing the dopamine release that accompanies an orgasm. Dopamine, which is known as the “feel-good chemical” in the brain, effectively takes the discomfort of negative thoughts or experiences away for a short time. This dopamine connection becomes problematic when the brain establishes a strong link between negative feelings and the need for sexual behavior to achieve pleasure.
Over time, this cycle can alter how the brain functions, making someone’s craving for sexual activity nearly irresistible despite knowing the potential for harmful effects on someone’s life, well-being, and relationships.
A person with an addiction is likely to try to stop the behavior because of these negative consequences but find they can’t.
Someone with a sex addiction may experience:
- Obsessive sexual thoughts and fantasies that interfere with productivity and focus
- Consistent preoccupation with fulfilling sexual urges despite negative consequences
- Engaging in high-risk sexual behavior such as anonymous or unprotected sex
- Lying to hide sexual behaviors
- Avoiding activities that don’t include sex, such as family or social events
- Repeated attempts to curb or stop sexual actions but an inability to do so
- Feeling guilt, shame, or remorse after sexual actions
Comparing Compulsive Behaviors and Addiction
Compulsive behaviors affect people in different ways. Compulsive behaviors are driven by an unstoppable urge to act, usually as a way to deal with uncontrollable thoughts causing anxiety or stress.
For example, someone might repeatedly engage in sexual activities not for the intimacy, fun, or joy it can bring but because of a compelling urge linked to psychological anxieties or fears.
On the other side, addiction involves a continuous desire to indulge in certain behaviors, like sexual activities, mainly for the pleasure they offer to escape discomfort. Unlike compulsive behaviors, addiction is often linked to physical changes, including cravings and withdrawal symptoms.
For addictions to sex, masturbation, or pornography, someone in withdrawal might experience fatigue, a racing heart rate, sweating, body aches, and even issues with appetite and digestion. Despite knowing the harmful outcomes of their actions, someone with an addiction can’t easily stop their behavior, and withdrawal symptoms can intensify their cravings.
Sex addiction treatment at Begin Again Institute can focus on these distinctions to create a tailored treatment plan. By identifying if someone’s behavior is more aligned with compulsion or addiction, a therapist can better support each person’s journey to recovery. Recovery from both conditions is challenging but possible with dedicated support and a clear understanding of each person’s unique experiences.
The Impact on Mental Health and Relationships
Both compulsive behaviors and addiction can deeply impact someone’s mental health and personal relationships. These conditions come with additional stress, anxiety, and depression as people struggle with their uncontrollable urges or needs.
In romantic relationships, trust and intimacy can suffer, leading to isolation, misunderstandings, and arguments. These behaviors and addictions can severely test and damage the strongest bonds.
Partners of those with compulsive behaviors or addiction may experience:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Intrusive thoughts
- Insomnia
- Panic attacks
- Difficulty trusting others
Some partners may experience betrayal trauma as a result of being in a relationship with someone with a sex addiction. This emotional pain that results from trust being violated requires a unique approach to treatment and healing.
Begin Again Institute offers a Partner Support Program exclusively for those whose partners are undergoing treatment with us for sexual addiction and intimacy disorders. The program offers essential education on how betrayal trauma impacts your mind, body, and emotions.
Treatment and Recovery
For people dealing with compulsive behaviors or addiction, treatment may involve a combination of therapeutic approaches.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and brainspotting are commonly used strategies in therapy for sex addictions or compulsive sexual behavior. CBT helps clients change negative thought patterns and behaviors, while Brainspotting helps you uncover and begin to process traumatic memories.
At Begin Again Institute, we use the Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction (TINSA®) model, which is unique to BAI, to help men identify and heal the traumas that led to intimacy issues.
TINSA is a neurobiological approach that helps clients understand the way their mind and body respond to trauma and process that trauma. We combine this approach with various treatment modalities, depending on the client’s unique needs.
Getting Help at Begin Again Institute
Taking action as soon as you notice signs of compulsive behaviors or addiction can prevent these issues from worsening. Reaching out for help early often leads to more efficient and effective recovery outcomes, allowing people to understand their behaviors right away and learn coping strategies before they become entrenched.
Acting quickly can also protect other elements of your life from suffering due to your behaviors, including your relationships or career. Initiating a conversation with a therapist or counselor or enrolling in a specialized treatment program early can make for a much smoother path to recovery.
Begin Again Institute offers support for men suffering from compulsive behaviors and addiction, providing a calming and supportive environment conducive to healing. Tailoring our approach to meet each individual’s needs and circumstances, we guide our clients down the road to recovery that is paved just for them. If you or someone you care about is facing these challenges, reach out today to learn more about what recovery through our intensive programs can look like.
