Do you complete a mental checklist of all your things before you walk out the door? Repeating “phone, wallet, keys” is a common mantra. Your phone is always within reach. And you feel “off” if you forget it. But when you have a phone sex addiction having that access makes getting or staying sober challenging.
Understanding Phone Sex Addiction
Phone sex is when you engage in sexually explicit activities over the phone for sexual gratification. It’s a sex addiction with your phone as the tool.
Sex addiction is a constant focus on sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors you can’t seem to control. People develop sex addictions as a way to cope with unresolved trauma. Recovering from the addiction requires getting to the root cause and healing it too.
Phone sex activities can include:
- Calling phone sex hotlines
- Having sex over the phone
- Sexting someone you know or a paid service
- Sending “sexts” or sexually explicit material via your phone
If you use phone sex as an outlet, your brain becomes accustomed to the feel-good sensations it gets from those activities. The vibration or chime of your phone may send a quick hit of the pleasure chemical dopamine to your brain. That hit rewards you for the message you’re about to open. These consistent small hits of dopamine can lead to an addiction.
Signs and Symptoms of Phone Sex Addiction
Under the umbrella of “sex addiction” are many compulsive sexual behaviors. Commonly called hypersexuality, you feel out of control of your desires, behaviors, and urges. Your obsessive sexual thoughts consume much of your time and attention. The biggest concern is when your sexual outlets and feelings interfere with your daily life and relationships. If that happens, you’ve likely developed a sex addiction.
Signs of phone sex addiction include:
- Feeling unable to put your phone down
- Fear of other people touching your phone or seeing your screen
- Spending excessive amounts of time and energy pursuing your next phone sex opportunity
- Experiencing financial difficulties because of money spent on phone sex services
- Feeling depressed or ashamed of your phone sex activities
- Ignoring the consequences of your behaviors
How to Treat Phone Sex Addiction
Getting rid of your phone entirely probably isn’t an option. Creating and maintaining boundaries around your phone usage is crucial to overcoming your phone sex addiction.
Set Time Limits
Choose certain hours of the day when your phone is “off-limits.” Try to set these times around when you’re most inclined to use your phone as a sexual outlet. Leave your phone in another room if you tend to engage in phone sex activities before bed. Or, do not allow yourself to use your phone after specific work hours. Setting reminders to put your phone away may also be helpful with this.
Delete Applications
Some apps may tempt you more than others. Deleting applications that are sexually stimulating is a necessary step. It will help you break the connection between you and your phone. Dating applications, social media, and pornography outlets are all types of applications you should delete.
Accountability
Some apps can help monitor your accountability on your phone usage. You can either use the apps yourself or share them with a partner or loved one. Having someone to help hold you accountable can be the nudge you need to get sober.
Setting boundaries around your phone usage may be a helpful place to start. But it doesn’t address the addiction’s cause. Consider seeking professional help to determine what caused your addiction and work through that trauma so you can fully recover.
Treatment for Phone Sex Addiction
At Begin Again Institute, we treat people with sex addiction through our 14-Day Men’s Intensive. Our team uses a combination of therapies to help you reach your goals. You don’t need to be addicted to phone sex anymore. You’re ready for and deserving of change. Contact us today to learn more about your treatment options.
