Infidelity, as a word, is not explicitly referenced in the Bible, yet it is clear that infidelity is synonymous with several sins referenced in the Bible. Sins like adultery, unfaithfulness, betrayal, and cheating are talked about in the Bible.
So, what does the Bible say about infidelity in these terms? Here’s an example:
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4, ESV).
Healing a relationship after infidelity requires processing the trauma of betrayal and restoring the partnership and individual relationships with God. Boulder Recovery’s treatment expertise, recovery experience, and Christian support programs can help you rebuild your marriage, heal from the betrayal, and strengthen both your Christian faith and your relationship with God.
Biblically, What is Adultery?
Infidelity is defined as adultery, unfaithfulness, disloyalty, or a break of trust. To be unfaithful or break someone’s trust is betrayal and cheating. All of these are words specified as sins in the Bible. The Bible is specific about adultery in the seventh commandment, “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14, ESV). The Bible is also clear on the sin of betrayal, as is reflected in the story of Judas betraying Jesus.
The Old Testament viewed adultery as a sin against the husband. When a married or engaged woman has sexual relations with a man other than her husband, that sin is against her husband. The Old Testament held sacred marriage vows, as does the New Testament. Jesus’s teachings in the New Testament show that adultery is also when a married man has sexual relations with a woman other than his wife or betrothed. Today’s Christian teachings believe infidelity is wrong for both partners.
What Does Scripture Say?
Adultery is not strictly limited to sex. Emotional adultery is when a spouse shares more of their feelings, emotions, and thoughts with someone who is not their spouse.
“Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes” (Proverbs 6:25, ESV).
Lust for someone other than your spouse may also be considered adultery.
“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28, ESV).
Combining lust and emotional connection makes a sort of “chemistry” that two people sometimes have. Seeking a deep and fulfilling relationship with someone who is not your spouse may not include sex, yet the slippery slope toward infidelity starts when you share more with someone who is not your husband or wife. This type of sharing is also a form of intimacy, even without sex.
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4, NIV).
Consequences of Infidelity
Infidelity impacts the person’s spouse, family, friends, and even the community in faith, but it also has a profound effect on the person who is being unfaithful.
“He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself” (Proverbs 6:32, ESV).
Destroying oneself leads to weakened faith and leaves you spiritually bereft. The Bible talks of sinning against yourself and your body, which is more easily overlooked by some. Without the strength of your faith and your relationship with God, you may find it difficult to have strong relationships with anyone else.
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18, ESV).
Faith in yourself and your relationship with God provides fortitude to withstand temptations and steer clear of improper situations. Self-destructive behavior through infidelity not only damages the relationship with your spouse but it also makes you feel distant in your relationship with God. Standing up against temptation can be even more difficult without your faith.
T.C. Ryan, author of Ashamed No More: A Pastor’s Journey Through Sex Addiction and Pastoral Sex Addiction Specialist at Boulder Recovery, said that many Christian men with addictions aren’t living authentically or with true self-awareness.
Instead, Ryan wrote, these men have a sense of who they are in relation to what they show others — the face they wear in public. Then they have a shadow self — the self with the addiction or the part of themselves that they don’t like — that they keep hidden.
“A lot of our energy can go into ignoring, denying, or hiding our shadow, both from ourselves and from others,” he wrote. “We are better served by using that energy to come to terms with our shadow.
“The first step is becoming aware of who we really are. Coming to terms with our shadow is essential for us to make changes that foster personal growth and a better life.”
Finding Strength and Redemption
Avoiding temptation is difficult for even the most faithful.
“On reaching the place, he said to them, ‘Pray that you will not fall into temptation’” (Luke 22:40, NIV).
Every Christian must deal with temptation. Sometimes, in the challenging times when you’re bombarded with opportunities to sin, you need to find support and guidance from a place that helps strengthen your faith. Boulder Recovery can be that place. Our Christian men’s intensive can provide the renewal needed to save you from addiction and rebuild your relationship.
You can seek forgiveness for being tempted. The same is true for those who have committed adultery. The sin of infidelity, like other sins, may be forgiven with repentance, and redemption may follow with forgiveness.
Strengthening your faith in God, finding love for yourself, and rebuilding your relationship with your spouse can lead to healing and reconciliation.
“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord” (Acts 3:19, NIV).
Are Sex Addiction and Pornography Addiction Infidelity?
Lustful thoughts and coveting someone who is not your spouse or is married to someone else are all part of infidelity. According to the Bible, being addicted to pornography and sex — even masturbation — is adultery and, therefore, a sin. Lustful thoughts about another or engaging in sexual relations with someone who is not your spouse are sinful.
Seeing half-dressed men and women is not uncommon today. The ease of obtaining pornographic images and the casualness associated with sex can tempt Christians toward infidelity. When you add to these temptations the need to cope with unresolved trauma or other negative emotions, it becomes incredibly challenging not to slip toward infidelity. But marriage is a sacred vow made between two people and before God.
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord (Proverbs 18:22, KJV).
How Boulder Recovery Can Help
Boulder Recovery understands the guilt and shame associated with adultery, lust, and betrayal.
We also understand how unresolved trauma or attempting to cope with negative emotions can lead even Christian men into addiction. That’s why we offer treatment modalities focusing on treating Christian men who need additional strength and guidance to deal with sex or pornography addictions.
Boulder Recovery’s treatment is trauma-informed, which helps you find the root cause of the infidelity and provides steps to end the negative behaviors.
Infidelity may be known by many other names, like adultery, unfaithfulness, and betrayal, which are all sins in the Bible. The sin of adultery is not just against your spouse, but it is a sin against yourself and can lead to the destruction of your faith and spirituality. Our Christian Men’s Intensive can provide you with the help you need to heal yourself, find forgiveness, and repair your relationship with your spouse and with God.
Contact us today to see how our faith-based program for Christian men can help you rebuild your faith, life, and relationships.
