What Is Sex Addiction?

Most people go through their day having various thoughts and focusing on myriad tasks. But for a person with sex addiction, there’s only one thing on their mind — sex.

What is sex addiction? It’s compulsive sexual thoughts, urges, and behaviors that take over a person’s life. It causes them to be unable to function because they’re so preoccupied with sex. And they can’t change this behavior, even if they try. But there are ways to get help and recover fully from this addiction.

Understanding Sex Addiction

Sex addiction is also known as compulsive sexual behavior or hypersexuality disorder. It’s an excessive preoccupation with sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors that a person can’t control. It causes them severe emotional distress and comes at a great cost to their mental and physical health, job, and relationships. It essentially seeps into every part of their lives.

Not everyone can observe these sexual behaviors. Often, people with hypersexuality go to great lengths to keep from getting caught. The secrecy doesn’t come from a malicious place. Instead, it results from shame and guilt about being out of control of their choices. But there are signs and symptoms of sex addiction to look for. 

Signs of sex addiction include:

• Non-intimate sex with strangers or sex worker
• Compulsive masturbation or porn use that escalates over time
• Failure to keep promises to change sexual behavior, despite a genuine desire to stop
• Obsessive sexual behavior negatively impacts other aspects of life
• Feeling depressed or shameful about behaviors and inability to control urges
• Avoiding activities that don’t include sexual outlets, including daily responsibilities and social events
• Engaging in risky sexual behaviors such as voyeurism, exhibitionism, or having unprotected anonymous sex
• Low self-esteem
• Defensiveness
• An inability to maintain meaningful relationships or an aversion to intimacy
• Ignoring the consequences of behaviors
• Lack of empathy

At its core, sex addiction is an intimacy disorder. A person with an intimacy disorder fears connection with other people. It doesn’t matter if the connection is emotional, spiritual, or intellectual — it frightens them. As a result, they avoid opportunities to experience and develop intimacy with another person. They may not even realize they are avoiding intimacy. Instead, they may think they’re protecting themselves from being vulnerable. 

The overwhelming sign of this type of addiction is that compulsive sexual behavior negatively impacts a person’s life, but they can’t stop it.

How Trauma Results in Sex Addiction

Unresolved trauma often is the root cause of sex addiction. The hallmark of these traumatic experiences is the survivor was unable to process them, so they looked for a way to cope. Sex and the positive feelings surrounding sexual behaviors became that coping mechanism.

A person wants to do anything to make themselves feel better during or after a traumatic experience. What makes them feel better is a neurotransmitter called dopamine. Dopamine is the pleasure chemical that helps you learn what feels good.

Many activities, including sexual activities, cause a burst of dopamine to fill the brain. People learn that sexual pleasure is something in their lives that they can control. They then seek out new forms of sexual pleasure to cope with daily stress and traumatizing events. 

If a person cannot close the loop of survival mode, the traumatic event can lead to lasting emotional damage. Identifying trauma as the cause of the addiction and seeking help for both concerns can lead to healing.

Healing From Sex Addiction

You can heal from sex addiction, but you probably can’t do it alone. Once you recognize that you have a sex addiction, it’s important to get help from a mental health professional. 

It’s also possible that you’re unaware of the trauma that feeds your addiction. Some people don’t remember trauma that occurred early in life. You also may think you’ve dealt with the trauma when that’s not the case. Either way, a professional can help you identify the cause of your addiction and treat it through various therapeutic approaches. 

The most important thing is to remove the barriers that are keeping you from seeking help and embrace the benefits of the treatment you need and deserve.

Sex Addiction Treatment Programs

You have options to consider when choosing sex addiction treatment. These options include:

• Intensive Programs. Inpatient programs offer around-the-clock care. These programs can jumpstart your recovery by immersing you in a treatment environment without outside interference or concerns.
• Outpatient Programs. These programs offer flexible treatment schedules. It may take longer to incorporate what you’re learning, but there’s the benefit of practicing healthier choices in daily life. You can practice new coping skills regularly without interrupting your schedule as much as with inpatient treatment. 
• Individual Therapy. Ongoing one-on-one therapy is a crucial element of treatment. Healing from the inside out is critical for success. A quality program should offer trauma-informed therapy to ensure a successful recovery. 
• Group Therapy. Group therapy is a healing atmosphere shared with others who have similar experiences. This camaraderie improves accountability and deepens connections to others, helping you learn to reestablish intimacy. The best treatment programs offer a combination of group vs. individual therapy.

How Begin Again Institute Can Help

At the Begin Again Institute, we know that sex addiction is more than just behavior. During sex addiction treatment, we seek to uncover the root cause of addiction. Doing this means that your recovery starts at the cause rather than the symptoms. 

We offer various programs, including a 14-Day Men’s Intensive that allows you the time, space, and 24-hour support to recover from your addiction.

If you or a loved one may have a sex addiction, contact us to discuss treatment options.