How to Overcome Porn Addiction

Pornography is taboo, and people with porn addiction may find it challenging to reach out for help. If you’re wondering how to overcome porn addiction, know that you aren’t alone, and it’s possible to recover.

Porn addiction is the compulsive, uncontrollable use of pornography. The person with the addiction often feels guilt and shame about their inability to stop viewing pornography. There is recovery after porn addiction, but you have to better understand the addiction before taking steps to overcome it.

Signs of Porn Addiction

Like other addictions, porn addiction often develops as a response to extreme stress or unresolved trauma. To feel relief in a stressful situation or when triggered, someone with porn addiction will turn to pornography to ease their discomfort. 

Signs of porn addiction include: 

• Excessive viewing of pornography
• Failed attempts to stop viewing porn
• Feeling defensive about porn usage
• Declining sexual intimacy between you and your partner in favor of watching porn 
• Lying about porn usage
• The need to watch increasingly more and/or more extreme porn

People addicted to pornography often feel shame and guilt regarding their porn use because they don’t know how to stop watching porn and can’t when they try.

Not sure if you have a problem with pornography? Take our porn addiction quiz.

 

Causes of Porn Addiction

There is no single cause of porn addiction. Experts think a combination of factors causes someone to develop the addiction. Similarly, there is no single reason that people with porn addiction turn to porn to ease discomfort. Factors like mental health, cultural expectations, and relationship problems may encourage porn addiction.

Other factors related to porn addiction include:

• Loneliness
• Voyeurism
• Pornographic novelty
• Fighting boredom by watching porn

Porn addiction is a complex issue. Without one singular contributor, it can be challenging to determine the causes of porn addiction and how to address them. You may have attempted to stop countless times but have been unsuccessful. That’s because porn affects your brain.

Porn hijacks the brain’s reward system, which processes dopamine. Dopamine drives you to seek out things or feelings, like food, entertainment, and pleasure. Once you achieve your reward, the brain remembers that stimulation and reacts accordingly. You learn to expect the reward. The more you watch porn, the more reinforced the behavior becomes. 

Porn hardwires your brain into thinking continuous dopamine stimulation is normal. Your reward system is trained to expect porn frequently. You’ve developed a chemical dependence that can feel impossible to escape. 

There’s no easy way to break the cycle, so it may take professional help. Porn addiction often stems from trauma. Identifying any past trauma allows you to understand your susceptibility to porn addiction.

People use pornography to deal with adverse feelings resulting from past trauma. Then, before they know it, they’ve turned to pornography to feel better so often that it’s an addiction. They can’t stop.

A mental health professional can help you uncover the root of your trauma and implement healthy coping strategies. And they can help you develop tools to quit. 

Quitting isn’t a quick process, and maintaining lasting recovery requires willpower, self-discipline, and a plan. 

How to Overcome Porn Addiction

To deal with any addiction, you have to treat its underlying cause. Identifying and healing the trauma that led to the addictive behavior is crucial for success. The following steps can help you overcome porn addiction.

Recognize the Problem

Admitting to a problem and acknowledging how it affects your life is necessary to make a change. Honesty is key, especially with yourself.

Ed Tilton, President of  Begin Again Institute, said the best way to win the battle with porn addiction is to be honest with yourself. 

“Start to be honest with your behaviors as it relates to cravings, and start being honest with yourself about the consequences. The lies we tell ourselves often become the strongest delusions and hardest behaviors to change. Convincing ourselves that we have an overactive active libido or that our partner just is not into the same things we are can be some of the lies that we use to feed a behavior into an addiction.”

Ed noted that honesty is critical for real change.

“Once we can find honesty with self, we are more likely to start to be honest with others and through that honesty start to acknowledge a desire for change and a new freedom in how we see choice,” he said.

Decide What Needs to Change

Once you’ve recognized the problem, it’s time to make some changes. You may want to change your environment or your habits. For example, avoiding porn use triggers is a great way to start.

You may also want to seek professional help. Researching group therapy or one-on-one programs is a great first step to finding help that will work for you.

Don’t Blame Other People

While porn addiction can result from biological or cultural factors, it’s imperative not to pass the blame to other people for the sake of your recovery. Having an addiction is not your fault, nor is it anyone else’s. Instead, focus on being honest with yourself about the addiction. Then, take steps to get the help you need to recover.

Get Rid of Pornographic Materials

Getting rid of pornographic materials may look like deleting bookmarks to porn sites on your browser or getting rid of pornographic magazines. You may also decide to have a trusted friend install anti-porn software on your computer, so you can’t access pornography. Have them keep the password so you can’t uninstall the blocker.

Other suggested changes include:

• Downloading a porn filter on your devices
• Monitoring internet use
• Setting a timer when using the internet
• Using a computer in public locations
• Getting rid of hard copy porn
• Creating distractions from porn
• Avoiding the conditions that encourage porn addiction
• Surrounding yourself with people who support you

Combat Temptation

Find something else — a healthy activity — to turn to instead of porn. Keeping a journal where you record times you were tempted and track any setbacks can help you recognize patterns and better understand why you turn to porn in the first place. Identifying triggers and ways to avoid them can be a great way to prevent the urge to access pornography.

Seek Support from Your Spouse

Your spouse is your partner. They probably know you better than anyone and can offer support and comfort. Your spouse can also become your accountability partner. They can hold you responsible for your actions and help you achieve your goals. Remember to have compassion for your partner, as porn addiction likely caused them pain too. 

Find Solidarity with Others

Support groups and online communities offer opportunities to meet others with similar experiences. Hearing from other people with porn addiction helps reduce the stigma. Establishing solidarity with others can bring great comfort and decrease loneliness. You can find allies to hold you accountable, share tips for healing, and support your growth. 

Give Yourself Time to Recover

Building habits and breaking them takes time. You don’t have to go on this healing journey alone, nor do you have to do it all at once. Give yourself the time to understand your behaviors and set realistic goals for your recovery. Quitting gradually while you slowly confront the truth of your behaviors and come to terms with how they impact your life can help prevent a relapse. 

Commit to a Professional Recovery Program

It can be impossible to recover from porn addiction on your own. With personalized care at a specialized treatment center, you’ll experience 24/7 healing. A treatment center can help you overcome the shame and guilt surrounding porn addiction. Counselors approach treatment judgment-free. You’re not the first person to experience this, and you won’t be the last. 

The Main Stages of Recovery 

Recovery isn’t linear, nor will all people experience the same thing. But knowing what to expect and how best to prepare yourself is helpful.

Stages of recovery include:

• Understanding. The first step to recovery is recognizing your addiction and understanding why it got this far. It’s also beneficial to understand how addiction affects your brain and behavior.
• Preparing. Porn withdrawal symptoms are usually the opposite of the feeling you get from the addiction. You must mentally and physically prepare yourself for various emotional, physical, and psychological effects.
• Mindfulness. Mindful meditation and yoga are great places to start. By consciously paying attention to your thoughts and actions in a non-judgmental way instead of ignoring them, you can build up armor to protect yourself from any intrusive thoughts or stresses.
• Acceptance. Accept the things you can’t change about yourself and addiction. Make amends for any people you hurt, but don’t dwell on the past. Finding healing means moving forward. Don’t get stuck in the past.
• Practice. To make healthy habits stick, you have to practice. It takes resilience to stay with it, but the more you practice new habits, the better your chance of ending a porn addiction for good.
• Aftercare. A good addiction treatment program will offer aftercare, including tools and support, to help you stay on track for recovery. 

If someone with a porn addiction truly understands how it affects them and those around them, they are more likely to want to get sober.

“Helping someone see their need for help through treatment is best achieved by honest, clear, and consistent communication,” Ed said.

Managing Withdrawal Symptoms

Just like any other addiction, you may experience withdrawal symptoms once you stop viewing porn. Knowing what to expect as you work to overcome porn addiction is important. 

Common porn withdrawal symptoms include:

• Cravings for porn
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Lack of presence in the moment
• Sleep disturbances
• Headaches and stiffness or pain in other parts of your body
• Fatigue and weakness
• Agitation
• Lack of focus or concentration (brain fog)
• Nausea, fever, and other forms of sickness
• Little or no sexual desire, known as a “flatline”
• Excessive sexual thoughts
• Depression, despair, and other forms of sadness
• Mood swings
• Avoiding socializing
• Flashbacks or dreams about pornography

When you remove an addiction, it’s best to replace those habits with healthy ones. By implementing healthy coping mechanisms, you have an established system if you feel tempted to relapse.

Start by building a healthy daily routine. Incorporate activities you enjoy, intentional distractions, and space for mindfulness. Invest your time in a healthy diet or workout routine. Institute healthy coping mechanisms and habits to help you stay your course. And most importantly, communicate. Talk to a trusted friend or counselor for help if you’re overwhelmed by withdrawal symptoms. You don’t have to take the journey alone.

Getting Help to Overcome Porn Addiction

If you know someone who needs help with porn addiction, Ed says to be honest and clear with them.

“The communication has to be specific and involves you acknowledging the person you know them to be while also stating the specific behaviors associated with the addiction that have caused pain and betrayal and set a boundary and follow through.”

The following steps are critical for recovery:

• Start Changing Yourself First. Start small and work on changing your environment and understanding your triggers. 
• Build Your Support Network. Reach out to a trusted friend or partner and let them know what you’re dealing with. Share your goals and ask for help with accountability.
• Get Resources. Check available resources to help you with this specific problem. There are many treatment programs available. You can also start treating your addiction at home.
• Get Professional Help. Find a program or mental health professional who understands what you’re going through and can guide you to healing the addiction’s cause and through your recovery.

What to Expect in Porn Addiction Treatment

You may be intimidated by the idea if you’ve never stayed at a treatment center. You probably have questions about what recovery looks like. 

When healing from porn addiction, feelings of vulnerability, guilt, and shame are expected. Mental health professionals are experienced in this area, so your situation won’t surprise or confuse them. Support is always available to you.

Matt Wenger, Clinical Director at Begin Again Institute, said recovery is now a part of your life.

“Recovery is a lifelong process,” he said. “It’s a new journey, and it changes who you are.”

The harsh reality is that some people won’t understand. Be honest and take accountability, but don’t feel you have to fight for others’ understanding. Surround yourself with people who accept you and empower you on your journey. 

If you have a partner, remember that healing your relationship is part of the process. It takes a full commitment to stop the behavior and heal the underlying issues. You must also allow your partner time to heal and rebuild trust. That’s why, at Begin Again Institute, we have a partner support program for partners to help them heal too. 

Let Begin Again Institute Help

Learning how to overcome porn addiction is an essential step in your recovery journey. If you’d like help along the way, contact Begin Again Institute. Our porn addiction treatment programs can help you overcome addiction and take back your life.